Warning, poem under construction.

If

If I were a pig, I would buy me a wig
For a coat without hair would be too cold to bear.

If I were a goat, I would get a sore throat
Spending morning ‘til night eating all that’s in sight.

If I were a bee, I would charge you a fee.
So if you want my honey, you must pay me the money!

If I were a dog, I could go out in fog
Because who needs to see when your nose finds the tree?